pairings where they “hate” each other but would be devastated if anything happened to one another are my fucking weakness
One week ago, I was:
- devouring deep dish pizza
- marveling at the Chicago skyline
- imagining an AU in which I attend American Hogwarts (UChicago)
- having brunch with the illustrious actual Knope otherwise known as demarches
- hanging out with temporarily
- crushing on temporarily's friends
- rocking Raphael on the TMNT arcade game at the best bar ever
Today, I am:
- not doing any of those things
I have regrets.
I bet you can tell I’m a woman,” she said, “and I suspect the rest of the world can, too.”
She said she was all too aware that if she was selected, she would represent several hundred male athletes in the NBA; she would deal with league officials and agents who were nearly all men; she would negotiate with team owners who were almost all men; and she would stand before reporters who were predominantly men.
She did not flinch. “My past,” she told the room, “is littered with the bones of men who were foolish enough to think I was someone they could sleep on. Michele Roberts, the new head of the NBA Player’s Union (xx)
Upon second viewing, I have definitely concluded that Guardians of the Galaxy is even better when you imagine it as a tabletop campaign with an increasingly frustrated DM who’s sick of being interrupted.
GM: “Roll 2d10.”
Peter: “Red high. Twelve.”
GM: “You have 12 percent of a plan.”
The entire prison break scene was just Rocket’s player rolling knowledge checks on every turn until something worked.
- When Drax’s player said, “I go into the phone booth and call Ronan to Knowhere”, the DM stared open-mouthed for a minute, then called break time. The rest of the party was speechless.
- Pretty much just in general, Drax’s player is one of those people who thinks Chaotic Neutral means “throws self at shit for the lulz” and is really fortunate he didn’t have many other opportunities to derail the campaign.
- Gamora’s player gets really exasperated by the entirety of the campaign. They rolled a character with a tragic backstory and clear hooks to the villain to expand on, and had no idea that everyone else was going to be so silly. It leads to begging the party to just once execute a normal plan because look at Gamora’s stealth bonus, this min/maxed assassin needs a chance to use her abilities, please.
- Rocket’s a skill monkey who, if not for Drax’s grand display of idiocy, would have gladly derailed the campaign with absurd plans.
- Groot was a joke idea someone came up with that people ended up liking too much.
- Ronan’s confusion when Star Lord began dancing was the DM’s confusion verbatim.
- The DM now vetoes Chaotic Neutral characters on principle.
Anonymous said: You know, skinny girls get hate, too. I'm tired of everyone saying how i should eat a cheeseburger and calling me anorexic. And guys saying "you're too lanky, that's a shame. If you had more meat it'd be better" saying only curvy girls get put down is just wrong.
Oh wow your life is so hard someone once accused you of having an eating disorder when you didn’t in a half complimentary tone and then told you to eat something.
- had an eating disorder
- have only ever in my life been told to stop eating things in fact my entire teenagerhood and childhood was full of everyone from my parents to one of my bio teachers to random strangers giving me suggestions on how to eat less than I’ve been eating
- which led to said eating disorder
that doesn’t even start to get into the daily struggles of being fat. the dirty looks people give you when you brush by them on the subway because you take up slightly more space than they’ve decided you’re aloted. the way you can never find clothing that fits and the shit you can find is twice as expensive as straight sizes and in a part of the store where if the store was the earth, your section is australia compared to everyone else’s sections. airline seats aren’t made to fit my ass comfortably, but I’m one of the lucky ones because I can actually fit into an airline seat and into plus size clothing. i have access to that because i’m on the smaller end of being fat. every time I eat a burger in public I have to worry that the people around me think that I’m just a lazy slobby fat ass who’s never exercised a day in her life. every time I eat a salad I have to worry that people look at me and think “good she SHOULD be on a diet.”
hey let’s play a game let’s play what celebrity do I look like? oh wait it’s none of them because you can count the number of fat actresses with any sort of popularity and acclaim on one hand. let’s play a game called name how many books you can think of with a fat protagonist. okay now let’s narrow it down. is their fat ever described with the sort of luscious complimentary used for thin girls with their long hard bodies and their taut stomachs and lean muscles? give me ONE chubby girl who gets the rolls of her stomach described with the beauty and passion of all the tiny carefree white girls who get lifted up without care into their boyfriends arms.
and let’s talk about that. let’s talk about how women are not meant to take up space in society. everything about us is meant to be smaller, to fit into small spaces. to not spread ourselves wide. we’re supposed to be petite and dainty and liftable. we’re supposed to perch delicately on people’s laps and be carried without a care into the threshholds of our homes in our husbands arms. we’re not supposed to be big or wide or god forbid, fat.
so forgive me if I don’t cry for you. forgive me if I can’t meet you with sympathy with open arms. forgive me for not giving a shit. your plight is not real.
you get put down. i get fucking oppressed.
kids are out here like “i wish i was alive during beatlemania” and im like….. beyonce is right here, right now, what is wrong with you. get right with jesus